Your Joyful Order With Leslie Martinez

#78 Cultivating Contentment and Gratitude in Everyday Life

• Leslie Martinez • Season 4 • Episode 78

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How often do you find yourself pursuing the next big thing, only to feel a sense of emptiness once you achieve it?  If this is you then you might struggle with being content. In this episode we discuss how contentment isn't about having everything you desire,  it's a state of peaceful happiness and  acceptance of your current circumstances.  It's that feeling of fulfillment that comes from knowing you have enough, and that your worth doesn't hinge on external achievements. 

In our pursuit of a grateful life, we uncover practical steps to weave contentment into  our daily existence. I discuss the transformative power of journaling and how the cathartic release of decluttering, both physically and digitally, can make room for appreciation of the here and now. By engaging in these mindful practices, we not only nurture our well-being but also spark a wave of positivity . Join me, as together we learn to cherish our achievements and the simple joys that each day brings, fostering a life that's as content as it is connected.

Connect with Leslie:

Follow on IG: @yourjoyfulorderstyle

Website: https://www.yourjoyfulorder.com/

Email: lmartinez@yourjoyfulorder.com
to schedule- Speaking Events, Interviews or Life Coaching Sessions

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https://shopjoyfulorder.com/

Listen to this Episode on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsXoAYIM2mfclNtYiaOzIUw

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https://a.co/d/09Djvaw

Book a FREE 30 Minute Discovery Coaching Call: https://tidycal.com/joyfulordermedia/30-minute-meeting

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, I'm Leslie Martinez and you're listening to your Joyful Order podcast. Each week I will bring you joyful stories that will motivate and inspire you and, at the same time, bring order to your everyday life. Let's just say the show will be a mixture of preaching and teaching, with a kick of motivation from your girl here. Welcome to your Joyful Order podcast.

Speaker 2:

Hey friend, how often do you find yourself pursuing the next big thing only just to fill this sense of emptiness once you achieve it. Have you ever been there? Well, today I want to shift our focus to a different kind of pursuit, and that's the pursuit of contentment. I was asked to do a talk with a large group of interior designers about contentment. It's an honor and privilege to actually just be asked to speak to any group of people, but as I was preparing for my talk, I thought I have to share this as a podcast episode, because the information that I found and as I was preparing for this talk, it was just so, you know, it just really impacted my heart and it just was a great reminder.

Speaker 2:

I have learned to live in contentment and a lot of these practices that I'm going to share with you. I do them often, but it is very important for us to be reminded every now and then, because sometimes we can fall out of that contentment phase when the next big shiny thing comes up and we want to chase it. So this episode is going to just serve as maybe a reminder to many of you, or maybe you need to hear this because you're just in that pursuit of the next big thing right now, and you just don't know how to stop chasing the next big thing and be content with where God has you at Now. Before we dive in to this topic of contentment, I want to clarify something that is very important. As a goal getter, I am constantly pursuing goals and dreams that God put in my heart. Now, contentment isn't about settling or becoming complacent. It's not about giving up on growth or striving for excellence. It's all about finding a sense of peace and fulfillment in your current situation, all while still having the ambition to learn, grow and contribute positively to the world and to still chase those God-g given goals and dreams that were planted in your heart. And I don't. In this conversation I don't want you to mix up what contentment and complacency looks like, because complacency will have you in an ugly place. I'll tell you that much. Complacency will just have you sitting there and like kind of waiting for that miracle, when God's like hey, you got to get up, pick up your mat and walk. So there is a fine line between those and you just want to kind of put that out before we really dig in here.

Speaker 2:

Now, what is contentment? Contentment isn't about having everything that you desire. It's a state of peace, it's a state of happiness, it's a state of fulfillment, of joy and just accepting your current circumstances. It's that feeling of fulfillment that comes from just knowing that you have enough with where you're at and that your worth doesn't hinge on external achievements or external things. Because when we are constantly chasing that next big thing, you know, I think, in like looking at, maybe comparing some things, you look at very successful, driven people. There are people you know that are out there, that have built huge empires, that are constantly chasing the next big thing, the next big house, the next nice car, the next big achievement or award. And we've seen it happen a lot of times. You hear stories of celebrities or successful businessmen or women that are constantly chasing the next big thing. They're in that pursuit of you know fulfillment and they get all of the things, they get to the top and then they just are never content. They never have a sense of fulfillment because they are using external factors or external achievements to have a sense of fulfillment. And if you've been here long enough, I hope you would know we don't get our fulfillment from things or from other people or achievements. Our fulfillment comes in knowing who we are in Christ.

Speaker 2:

Now the Bible has a lot to say about contentment and I'm going to throw out some scripture here. In Philippians 4, 11 through 13. Paul talks about learning to be content and, regardless of his situation, he emphasizes finding strength in God who allows us to face any challenge with any sense of peace. Another scripture in 1 Timothy 6, 6 through 8, we're reminded that true wealth comes from us having enough to meet our basic needs and living a life of gratitude. You know your girls are brain nerd here, so I'm going to kind of throw in. I threw a little bit of Bible talk. We're going to get more into some Bible stories and like some specific people that were great examples in the Bible of contentment.

Speaker 2:

But of course I need to share first some science about contentment, some brain science here. Now, did you know that contentment has actual profound impact on our brains? When we experience contentment, there are areas in our brain that are triggered, that are associated with pleasure, reward, positive self-evaluation. All of that lights up in our brain. All those neurons are just activated when we have learned to be content, when we exercise contentment. Now, this release of chemicals like dopamine, endorphins, all of that creates a sense of well-being and it motivates us to continue down a positive path. So it just triggers so much in our brain to keep chasing it right, because we get those great, those happy feeling emotions, those endorphins that we want more of. So, interestingly, research shows that gratitude yes, gratitude activates similar brain regions as contentment. So guess what? When you are practicing gratitude, you're also practicing contentment. They go hand in hand. So by practicing gratitude for the blessings in your life, you can actually strengthen the neural pathways for contentment as well. They intertwine here. All right, now, that's just my brain nerd knowledge that I had to throw out there because I always want to back up a little bit of Bible, a little bit of science, a little bit of research. That just brings it all together.

Speaker 2:

Let's be honest in today's world, comparison is a real struggle. Social media bombards us with flawless images and just seamless, effortless success stories. You all of a sudden see these people that just are like oh, they're overnight success, they went viral overnight and they're successful and running these big businesses. And like now, they're on yachts and jets and you know being on talk show hosts with sitting, you know side-by-side with Oprah because they had a viral TikTok or something. It's crazy, right, it's crazy. We think, oh, how come that can't happen to me? Now one. It is very, very rare for success stories like that to happen like that overnight. Oftentimes, a lot of these success stories are years and years of people that have been working and working and working and working and putting in the effort, but then all of a sudden we just see them blow up overnight.

Speaker 2:

We oftentimes compare ourselves to these people and we have these feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. When we see these people doing other amazing things, we might doubt our abilities and question if we truly belong in the space that we are in. Here is where our faith comes in. By grounding ourselves in the word in Christ, we can find our true worth and not identify ourselves with external validations we can eliminate, like the external influences that will allow us to just compare ourselves. Our value comes from being God's creation and he equips us with the gifts and the abilities to fulfill our purpose. And comparison let me just tell you this comparison stills our joy and it distracts us from appreciating our own unique gifts and talents. Stop comparing yourself to other people on social media, other people that you see in the limelight. Stop comparing yourself to other family or friends. God made you different and I know I I'm going to be honest.

Speaker 2:

I've fallen into the trap of comparison many times, especially with other people that are in the same season, where I am maybe about the same age, that are maybe doing the same kind of career path that I am, and I'm like wait a minute, god, she just started. How come she's so much further along than I am? And here I'm struggling to still do some of these things and I've been working my butt off. But, like this person just started and boom, they're all of a sudden a success. It's frustrating. I've been there before.

Speaker 2:

But being content where God has me and has you, it ties back into our purpose and calling Timing is huge and I have to remind myself. You know what? Maybe it's that person's time and not my time. I just have to wait and be patient, be content where God has me right now, because the promises that he has given me, I know what those promises are and those promises will be fulfilled in God's timing. And I can't compare myself with someone else that, yes, they just started and boom, they're blowing up like that. That was God's plan for her or for him but not for me.

Speaker 2:

And that's where complacency comes in. Now, am I still chasing and pursuing those goals and desires that God put in my heart? Yes, I'm not sitting on the couch, I'm not laying on my mat and saying like, oh, no one's helping me, no one's taking me into the water. If you know the story of the man by the waters, that's my favorite story. I've talked about it so many times. But that's where that's complacency, right there, but in a negative way. That's where I was comparing the contentment with complacency. Don't allow imposter syndrome to get you complacent and just to give in and say like, well, it's never going to happen for me, keep working and keep putting in your reps. That's what you got to do. You got to keep putting in your reps and not get complacent to where you're going to, you know, just spiral into a negative mindset. That's not going to trigger all those good endorphins that I was sharing about. You don't want to go there.

Speaker 2:

We're going to tie back in a little bit here and I'm going to give you a story from the Bible. I said I would and I want to give a good story here. I want us to consider this story and look at different perspectives on contentment. Now, if you are familiar with Bible stories, you might be really familiar with this one, especially if you're a chick, okay, especially if you're a woman, because the story of Ruth highlights such contentment she's. She's such a great role model of a strong woman, a good story in the Bible that, again, I'm sure that you have heard of the story of Ruth.

Speaker 2:

Ruth she was a Moabite woman and she loses her husband and she chooses to stay with her mother-in-law, naomi, even though it meant leaving her homeland. It meant following a God at that time that was foreign to her. She didn't really know who God was, she just knew that, like Naomi served this God and she was like, well, you know, I lost my husband, I don't know who else to stay with, I'm just going to go with my mother-in-law here. And you know that meant leaving her homeland and leaving her family, what she was comfortable with, where she was kind of complacent. Now, despite facing hardship and poverty, ruth demonstrated loyalty. She demonstrated faith and a positive attitude. She found contentment in serving Naomi, sticking with her and trusting God's provision. Now God spoke to her and was like hey, you got to stay with Naomi, you got to go and you got to serve her and you got to help her and God took care of her while she did that and she was so grateful for that, and I think the story of Ruth is just such a great story of contentment that we can look at in the Bible.

Speaker 2:

Now, how do we cultivate contentment in our own life? That's probably what you're really here for. You're like Leslie. I know what contentment means. You can tell me all of this, but how do I actually apply it into my own life? So here are some practices that you can incorporate into your life to cultivate contentment. The first one this isn't going to be new to you. If you've been listening for a while, you should know this and I hope that you are practicing this already. Because the first thing is gratitude Having a gratitude practice.

Speaker 2:

Have a gratitude journal. Take five to 10 minutes each day, write down three to five things that you're grateful for. This can be any big or small thing. You could be grateful for a random check that appeared in your mailbox for like $10,000. Amen to that. Name it and claim it. Or you can be grateful for the penny that you found on the ground Like nothing too big or small to be grateful for.

Speaker 2:

Another way to practice contentment is to share your gratitude. Sharing your gratitude with others by telling a friend or a family member something that you appreciate about them, or just expressing thankfulness for a positive experience that you have. Go and write a Yelp review on on on a restaurant like little mom and pop restaurant that you visited. I love writing Yelp reviews. When I get good customer service or really good food, I tell you I love me a good Yelp review and, don't get me wrong, I will throw in those shady places or services that I'm like oh no, people need to know not to come back here. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about gratitude.

Speaker 2:

Look for ways to share your gratitude with others, even if it's just sending a simple text to your spouse. You know, thank you for bringing me coffee today. Thank you for bringing me a tea today. Whatever it is, thank you for working so hard for our family. I like to send those randomly to my husband. You know, when he's at work, I'll just say I love you, babe. Thank you for working so hard for our family. I like to send those randomly to my husband. You know, when he's at work, I'll just say I love you, babe. Thank you for working so hard for our family, and it's just so simple like that.

Speaker 2:

Another way that you can initiate gratitude is reflect. Have a gratitude reflection. Take time to reflect on just the good things that happened that day. Even during challenging times, remind yourself of the good things that you are surrounded with. Here are some mindful practices that you can do Pray, meditate, breathe. All of this activates just a great contentment practice. Now, meditation can help you train your mind to focus on the present moment, to be present, engage, letting go of negative thoughts. There are many guided meditations available online through apps that you can do.

Speaker 2:

I'm not going to lie. I have really been trying to like incorporate a meditation practice. My meditation practice oftentimes just. I call it my prayer time. That's really what it is. I sit and I just try to focus on just God. How can I hear from God? Right now, I do a lot of meditation when I'm out in nature on a hike or a walk. I will just listen to nature and I will hear God. So there are different ways to meditate.

Speaker 2:

Do what works for you and you know people think meditation like oh, you got to sit in a room with your legs crossed, your you know your fingers, your thumb and your index finger pointing and like like hemming stuff, no, and have the incense and stuff. Meditation doesn't always look like that and people in the Christian world believe like, oh, meditation, that's evil. You're bringing these spirits Like, you use meditation the way you use meditation. Let me just tell you that you use meditation the way you use meditation. Let me just tell you that Breathing is another technique to do when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

Speaker 2:

Take a few minutes to focus on your brain and you're basically flushing out whatever stressful thoughts that are in your brain, whatever's causing a blockage of gratitude, or for you to just constantly be in like a, a, a chasing the next big thing, constant pursuit. Sometimes we just need to stop for a minute, just breathe and say okay, I just need to clear my mind of this chaos that is going on and allow myself to be present. And another way that you can just like bring contentment into your life is by engaging in activities that bring you joy, really, things that calm you, things that you know allow you to just be grateful listening to music, coloring maybe you're a crafty person spending time in nature, going for a hike. All of those mindful activities. Allow you to just stop and be grateful and content with where you're at in life and with what you have Now. A couple of lifestyle practices that you can incorporate also would be like simplify your life, declutter your mental and physical space, get rid of, maybe, possessions that you don't need anymore. Limit negative social media consumption Also. This means like, if there is someone that you don't need anymore, limit negative social media consumption Also. This means like, if there is someone that you are filling this like constant comparison trap with, unfollow them.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, there are people that I had to do that with when I was, like, in the clothing industry, and these are. These are people that, like, I worked with and I just like I got to know them and I'm like this person is shady. And I would like compare myself, cause I'm like this person is is shady. They run their business shady. They're ugly, deceitful, mean and like all these nasty things, and then, like they were blowing up, like selling 10 more items or 10 times the amount that I was, and I'm like this person is shady and fake. How are they doing so much better than I am? I had to go on and follow them. I literally did like a clean sweep of people that I found myself comparing my life to or my business to. I went and I just like and if there's like weird you know a weird situation between you and maybe someone that you feel that you're in comparison to, cause you know them and you're like if I unfollow them, they're going to know that I unfollowed them, well, you don't have to like, just click unfollow, you can go.

Speaker 2:

You can mute someone on social media. Did you know that? It won't like it'll show that you're still following them, but you just mute them and you don't ever engage with them. You won't ever see a post or you know anything at their stories or anything like. You can mute everything that you follow. You can mute their posts, you can mute their stories, you can mute their messages. You can control all of that in there, and I think that it is huge for you to do that by simplifying what you see, what you consume, decluttering your physical and your mental spaces.

Speaker 2:

Now, next, focus on relationships. Nurture relationships with loved ones, spend quality time with friends and family and build a strong support system that will incorporate this new contentment lifestyle for you. Also, go and give back. Helping others is a great way to cultivate contentment. Volunteer your time, donate to a cause, go and get to church, serve at church, serve in your community, serve at the schools. Find a cause that is near and dear to you. God called us to serve. God called us into our communities, into the world, to go and serve and just be a light, and that is a way that we can bring contentment into our life by going and serving in the spaces that God called us to to our life, by going and serving in the spaces that God called us to.

Speaker 2:

Another thing is to set realistic goals. Set achievable goals that align with your values. Celebrate your accomplishments, big and small, but continue to pursue those goals that God put in your life. God didn't call, call, you to be stagnant or complacent. Remember, okay, contentment versus complacency. Now contentment we're still chasing those goals. We're happy with where we're at, but we're still chasing what God put on our heart and it's important for us to continue with those goals. But also allow them to be realistic. Like is it a realistic goal to say, like, you want to win the lottery tomorrow? No, is it a realistic goal to say that you're going to lose a hundred pounds in a week. No, set realistic goals that allow you to still have that sense of contentment in your life.

Speaker 2:

Another thing that you need to do to bring in more contentment into your life is practicing self-care. Self-care doesn't look like, oh, going to the spa, getting a massage nails Like no. That is making time for things that are important to you. That is doing activities that nourish your mind, your body and your spirit. Getting enough sleep that's so important. If we don't get enough sleep, our minds start doing cray cray things, y'all our hormones start getting out of whack and you start spiraling spiraling really bad. So self-care is eating foods that serve your mind and your body. Getting enough sleep Getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, reading a book, praying, getting help when you need it, asking for help Self-care is asking someone can you come and help me when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed? Self-care is not about manicures and pedicures and spa days. Those are great self-care days. We don't get that luxury of doing that every day. It's simple things of nourishing your mind and your body each and every day and your spirit. That will allow you to create this contentment lifestyle.

Speaker 2:

And then, lastly, I want to just kind of go back and talking about limiting your comparisons and I and I touched upon it a little bit in the beginning but I just want to remind you to not compare yourself with anybody else. Everyone has their own journey. Focus on your own growth and your own progress. Appreciate where God has you. I think the whole comparison thing is a huge, huge factor that causes us to not be content of where we're at.

Speaker 2:

If social media triggers you and you, anytime you go on social media and it's not just one person, it's multiple people that you are finding, you know that sense of that. You need to compare yourself to get off social media, really, truly like, get off social media completely. But learn to put some of these practices into your life so that you can live a life of contentment. And just just remember this cultivating contentment is a continual process. This isn't something that, like you're going to say, oh, I got to the finish line. No, it is an ongoing journey. You have to be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress along the way too.

Speaker 2:

The biggest reminder I have to tell you is just initiating that practice of gratitude that if you just do that one thing, your life is going to change. You're going to feel that sense of contentment in your life it just just remember contentment is a journey, not a destination. I know that's a whole cheesy statement Like, oh, life is a journey not a destination. It's super cheesy, but you really think about it Again. You're never going to cross the finish line. You're going to constantly be evolving and changing and contentment is going to look different for you at different phases in your life. Also, there are going to be ups and downs, but by focusing on our faith, putting God in practicing gratitude and supporting one another, we can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment in our lives. And just remember to strive for excellence while embracing the joy of creating the beauty of living a life of contentment for God. Friends, thank you for listening.

Speaker 2:

This is like just short, sweet episode that I wanted to share with you about contentment and just to bring a little bit of joy into your life and a few reminders on how you can live a life of contentment. Now, if you need to start a gratitude practice, go get yourself a copy of your joyful order journal. You can find it on Amazon right now. And y'all, I'm just going to give you a little secret right now, there are more journals coming this year. Yes, you heard it first here, not that it's really a secret. I think most of you knew, or know if you follow me on social media. I'm like hey, this is the first of many journals that are to come, but I've been working on some special things that are going to be dropping later this year. But I want to tell you, go get a copy of your joyful order journal on Amazon. There's a link in the show notes and I.

Speaker 2:

One thing that I would love to do is, if you are using my journal and practicing your gratitude each and every day, take a picture and share it on social media of what you are grateful for. Tag me in it, because I love to see the journal and I would. And hey, that's that's going to help you practice contentment too, right, because you're sharing your gratitude with others. So tag me, allow me to see. Help you practice contentment too right, because you're sharing your gratitude with others. So tag me, allow me to see what you're grateful for, because it'll touch my heart so much. And until next time, friend, continue to chase joy.