Your Joyful Order With Leslie Martinez

#86 Pushing Back the Darkness- Finding Hope in Life's Valleys with Kris McBride

• Leslie Martinez • Season 5 • Episode 86

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What happens when life's challenges seem too heavy to bear? With author Kris McBride, we explore the depths of hope and faith amid adversity, revealing how gratitude and trust in God's plan can illuminate even the darkest paths. Kris, with over two decades of ministry experience, opens up about her journey through personal trials, including her mother's battle with cancer and her children's health struggles, as chronicled in her book, "Pushing Back the Darkness: Finding Hope in Life's Valleys." This episode promises a heartfelt look into overcoming fear, embracing faith, and finding joy through simple pleasures, as Kris and I share our own experiences and the lessons learned along the way.

Listeners can expect an emotionally rich conversation exploring the transformative power of scripture and prayer. Through candid stories and personal reflections, we tackle the challenge of trusting God's timing, even when His plans are not immediately clear. Kris recounts the heart-wrenching, yet uplifting story of her son Andrew's health journey, emphasizing the profound impact of faith, perseverance, and divine timing. These narratives serve as a testament to the enduring goodness of God, offering reassurance that His unseen work is always at play, guiding us through life's valleys and onto higher ground. Join us for this episode filled with inspiration, guidance, and hope, encouraging you to find light in life's darkest moments.

Get Kris' Book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/7rsKo8Q
Follow Kris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kamcbride3/
Visit Kris' Website: https://findinghopeinlifesvalleys.com/
Email Kris: findinghopeinlifesvalleys@outlook.com

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Follow on IG: @yourjoyfulorderstyle

Website: https://www.yourjoyfulorder.com/

Email: lmartinez@yourjoyfulorder.com
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Listen to this Episode on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsXoAYIM2mfclNtYiaOzIUw

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Speaker 1:

If you've ever faced a season of hardship and wondered where to find hope, you're in the right place. Today, we're diving into the powerful topic of cultivating hope and trusting God in life's darkest valleys. We'll be talking to author Chris McBride about how to push back the darkness and find light even in the hardest of moments.

Speaker 2:

Hey everyone, I'm Leslie Martinez and you're listening to your Joyful Order podcast. Each week I will bring you joyful stories that will motivate and inspire you and, at the same time, bring order to your everyday life. Let's just say the show will be a mixture of preaching and teaching, with a kick of motivation from your girl here. Welcome to your Joyful Order podcast.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back, friends, to another episode of your Joyful Order podcast. Joining us today is Chris McBride, author of Pushing Back the Darkness Finding Hope in Life's Valleys. Chris holds a master's degree in religion and has been in church ministry for over 20 years. She's a Bible teacher, a speaker at women's events and a contributor to the Women's Living Well Ministries. Chris is passionate about helping others deepen their relationship with Jesus, and she's here to share some of her personal journey and insights on finding hope when life is at its hardest. So, chris, I am so privileged to have you. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, it's my honor to be here Now I got to give the listeners a little bit more of a background with you and I, chris. We just kind of spent the first half of the year together, chris and I. I was so blessed to have Chris and my cohort. We did the Propel Mentorship Program together, where women in ministry just basically come together and get discipled and mentored by some amazing coaches, and Chris and I have the opportunity to be in a group together.

Speaker 1:

And I have to say to you, chris, I am so dang proud of you, like I remember the first day that we met, sitting at the table, when we first met and you shared this urge in your heart to, you know, to write this book. And I don't recall if you were already working on the book at the time or it was. I was Okay, so you were already working on the book, hadn't yet finished, but just to see like you share the excitement about what God had put in your heart then and that you were working on this and then now to be able to be a part of it. So I'm just I'm so proud of you and I'm so honored that I get to share your story. So I just want to go in, dive in here If you can share with the audience just a little bit about you, your story and the personal journey that led you to write this book.

Speaker 3:

Well, I've been a Christian since I was young.

Speaker 3:

But early in our marriage, when I was 22, my mom got sick with cancer and I took care of her for the next four years and I would say my first time that God really showed me how to cultivate hope is when I knew my time with her was running out and my heart was just breaking and I was just praying to the Lord and saying I don't know if I can do this and I just sensed in my spirit him say to me you have had a wonderful mom for 26 years.

Speaker 3:

Some people never experienced that one day in their life and it just totally changed my focus. I began thanking God just that I had such a close relationship with my mom, that she was healthy for my wedding, that she'd got to spend the last four years with Amanda, she had held our son Andrew, and I realized the power. It didn't make everything perfect and obviously I was still grieving, but it wasn't with that shattered heart that just being grateful and realizing the things to be thankful for number one put my focus on God, but it also helped lighten just that crushing that I felt just that crushing that I felt Wow.

Speaker 1:

Now I haven't been able to finish your book yet. I know, as we are recording this, your book literally just released, so I'm so privileged that you kind of gave me a little bit of insight before it officially launched. So, as I was reading these first chapters, I'm thinking to myself okay, here is this young girl just straight Now. I may have missed this, but did you finish college, or did you because you were in college when your mom was diagnosed, right?

Speaker 3:

I was, and I met my husband my freshman year and between my sophomore and junior year we ended up getting married. He asked me to marry him and he was like, how about we get married the summer after you graduate college? And I said you know what, you have one year to marry me. And he's like I guess we'll get married in a year then. And it ended up being so good because my mom was healthy. Had we waited, I would. She would not have been healthy for my wedding, so I did not complete college until later.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So with that I mean, I'm just thinking as I'm reading this. I'm like here's a young girl in college or young woman, I should say young woman in college, just got married, just had a baby and is helping to be like a caretaker for your mom as she's battling breast cancer and the undertaking that that you know kind of kind of took on you, the message of hope in that, just like you were saying that it's, it's kind of a twist of your words, right Of like well, I'm going to lose my mom, but it's no, but you've had 26 years with your mom and it's really just like a mind shift and that, and that goes to the whole. I was thinking. I have this verse literally on the door of my bathroom. I know it's not like the best place to pick up this verse, but I have post-it notes everywhere of verses and it's Philippians 4, 4, rejoice in the Lord. Always I'll say it again rejoice, right.

Speaker 1:

So this morning I have a post-it note on the door of my bathroom with the verse rejoice in the Lord. Always I say it again rejoice in the Lord. And it's Philippians 4.4,. I believe. And I was thinking of you this morning as I was preparing and praying and I was thinking how, just in reading just a little bit of your story so far, how you turn something so tragic into something that you can rejoice over. So, rather than lamenting on the fact that your mother is, you know here, she's diagnosed with breast cancer young age. How old was your mom again, chris?

Speaker 3:

She was only 42 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was 46 when she fell and broke her hip and they found it had metastasized and she passed away at 50. Okay wow.

Speaker 1:

So such a young age. You're a young, young mom and here you can look at again. You can, you know, grieve and lament over this, or you can rejoice, and you chose to rejoice through this. Now in the book you talk about finding hope, and it's not just rejoicing in these moments, but also finding hope during the hard moments. So what was one of the biggest turning points for you in just learning to hold on to hope?

Speaker 3:

I think it was a series of different things that the Lord taught me along my story, but one of the main things. Two months later I had my son in the pediatrician's office for his nine-month checkup and he ended up being his hemoglobin was really low. They checked that at nine months and he ended up being diagnosed with AML, which is a really aggressive leukemia. February 2nd exactly two months from the day that my mom passed. But as I was sitting in the pediatrician's office I just had this overwhelming feeling that he had leukemia but that he was going to be okay. And then the words trust in the Lord came into my mind and I thought I was losing it because it was such an odd thought to have. But then, when he ended up being diagnosed, I really hung on to that and the fact that the Lord loved me so much that he he not only told me what was about to happen but he gave me the words trust in the Lord. And I would say the second biggest thing that really gave me hope is Andrew ended up having a bone marrow transplant. It took care of the leukemia. He did develop graft versus host disease and when he was two and a half on Thanksgiving Day.

Speaker 3:

He ended up going into shock and we almost lost him. In fact, when Dave called me, I just had Kelly, so I was home with her and he would go to the ER quite often. He said Chris, andrew went into shock. They worked on him for an hour. He's in ICU. They don't know if he's going to make it through the night. You better come. And I rushed to the hospital. He didn't know who I was At that point. He had some paralysis in his legs and I was just devastated and I ended up leaving and I kind of at that point got mad at God and kind of put him on the shelf for a few months. Long story short, I ended up having a severe asthma attack in the ER. Like it was pretty bad.

Speaker 3:

Once they stabilized me, I was just laying there and I just had this overwhelming sense that even if Andrew died, it wouldn't be as painful as not having that intimate relationship with the Lord, because I kind of ignored him for four months and in my brokenness I just prayed and I'm like Lord, I am so sorry that I put you on a shelf. I love you so much. It's just so hard to watch my son suffer. And in my spirit.

Speaker 3:

I heard, or since, the Lord saying I know I watched my son suffer and I could have stopped it, but I love you as much as him. And I will tell you. That changed everything for me, because not only did it make me understand God understands our suffering more than we can even imagine, but how great his love is for me, and that just gave me a tremendous amount of hope that no matter what I encountered in life, god understood my suffering, he loves me and if he loves me, he's for me, right my suffering. He loves me and if he loves me he's for me, right. So that just inspired me and really helped put hope into my heart.

Speaker 1:

Wow, oh, chris, now I've heard you share a part of that story before, but the part that just really got me right now and I, like you, got me choked up and I literally, as you were starting to say, it is like it hurts to see my son suffering, and I'm thinking to myself too is like, as we're saying that to God, like God had to watch his own son suffer too, but he could have stopped it. Yes, yes, and here you, as a mom, you can't like, there's nothing that you can do to stop it. So you're praying to God, like God, you're the only one that can stop this. As a mother, you know I'm a mom of two boys. I can only imagine the position that you were placed in. You know, for that I am fortunate.

Speaker 1:

I have two, you know, healthy kids, and I've never had to go through what you go through and I can not imagine the, not just the pain, but, like you said, that you were angry at God, and I think that's one thing that I really want to kind of sit on for a little bit, if you don't mind, chris, because I think it's important for believers to know that, even as a believer that we can question God right, like it's not a matter. God doesn't change. God is the same today, tomorrow, yesterday, like God remains the same. Our faith in him definitely does change and I just I've loosely had this conversation with other people.

Speaker 1:

I don't know that I've talked about it too much on the podcast, but can you just go in a little bit deeper on like how the anger kind of settled with you, maybe some of the thoughts, the questions and what got you from that place of anger where you Maybe some of the thoughts, the questions and what got you from that place of anger where you didn't want any part of God to you know, you kind of just touched a little bit on it. But can you just go a little bit deeper of that transition, of where you went from deep anger I want nothing to do with you to the other side?

Speaker 3:

Absolutely, and it probably goes back to that night. Andrew went into shock. When I got home that night I put Kelly to bed, amanda spent the night at her in-laws and I just kind of yelled at God and I was like you know what with my mom? You know died of breast cancer. I said I'm so thankful for having a great mom for 26 years.

Speaker 3:

When Andrew was diagnosed with leukemia, like I said I trust you and I thank you and I praised you. And then that same year our five-year-old daughter was diagnosed with diabetes and I said we praised you that it wasn't cancer. And then Satan, I really believe, gave me this thought and I said the closer I get to you, the more bad things happen. So I'm just going to put you on a shelf. And I did and I could get away with it because I had a newborn baby, a really sick kid. So even though we helped plant a church, like people weren't saying why is it Chris at church? Like they knew Andrew couldn't be around people and all that. But I was so miserable I actually don't remember a lot about those four months but I didn't pray, I was angry and that night that I had the asthma attack was actually Andrew's third birthday and he was so sick at that point his graft versus host disease, which was my bone marrow, attacking his body, had made him so stiff. He reminded me of Frankenstein's monster right and the doctors we were taking him to in Philadelphia just really weren't addressing the issue and I honestly believed it was going to be his last birthday. But when I went into that severe asthma attack and you know, they stabilized me and then I was alone, I was just sitting there and thinking about how miserable I'd been the last four years and like how I'd been through tough times and when I allowed, like poured my heart out to God and allowed the Holy Spirit to minister to me, like just the peace and comfort that I think that is what compelled me to pray to him.

Speaker 3:

But I think it's important to realize we have an enemy and he's going to beat us lies. For me it was the closer you get to God, the more bad things happen. For other people it might be God's punishing you or you know how can I trust you, lord, when you let this happen, or you're an angry guy. There's all different lies that he feeds. But I think one of the mistakes I made is I didn't really share with anybody what I was feeling about. The closer I get to God, the more bad things happen, and I stopped reading my Bible so I wasn't filling my mind with truth in a valley.

Speaker 3:

You have to wrestle and you either decide that god is a loving god, that he's good, that he's faithful, that he's holy, and if those things are true you can trust him. Or you know, maybe you're where I was for a little bit and you kind of turn your back. But here's the gracious thing when you come back to, he welcomes you with open arms, and I think going through that wrestling prepared me for later in our journey when I would have to trust him even more. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is all good, that he's all faithful, that he's all true, and if those things are true I can trust him. And that never changes. He's a simple being, so all of his attributes are throughout his whole body and they never change, and I think understanding that changes everything. Yes.

Speaker 1:

Oh, chris, so good, just so, so good. Now I want to go back a little bit, because the same lie that the enemy told you, the closer you get to God, the more challenges or trials you're going to endure. Because that same lie was told to me from the enemy, like back when I was about 18 years old and I stepped away from a relationship with God for about two years myself, and it wasn't so much the trials that I was going through, it was what my mother was going through and I had saw that it seemed, it seemed it was a lie. We know that now it seemed it was a lie, we know that now it's. It did seem that the closer my mom was getting to god, the bigger the challenges were for her in her marriage. Basically, I, I grew up with a abusive father, emotionally, physically abusive, and my parents eventually divorced.

Speaker 1:

But my mom went through utter hell in her marriage trying, trying to fight for them to, you know, stay together and such. I grew up in just a very like tense, driven home, you know, and I saw that how much trust and faith my mom was putting in God and it was like it's not working. It's getting worse and I, you know, my mom would drag us to church every Sunday and I'd sit there listening to sermons and you know going to youth on Wednesdays and all of that and really you know taking it in. But then when I saw that, I was like, wait a minute, what are these trials and tribulations? What is this all about? My mom's been going through trials and tribulations for like nearly a decade. We've been coming to church for so long and God's done nothing for my mom Like nothing, if anything. Things have gotten worse when I would look at my mom's relationship with God and her being so faithful and even through everything that she went through, she still chose to serve God. She still chose that.

Speaker 1:

But I told myself, I said I don't want to go through hell and back if that's what it takes to have a close relationship with God. So I love God and I know him, but I just want to keep him at a distance because if I get close to him then I'm going to have to go through that and that's what the enemy have put in my head too. There could be a listener out there right now that is struggling with that same reality right now and, just as Chris said, and I will tell you that is a lie from the enemy that is trying to keep you away from what God has in stored from you. And, as Chris said, the enemy wants to keep you away from knowing the truth right. And we know that the truth resides in the book and the closer that we get, the more that we see the truth and the more that we can find that hope and resilience and have that faith. That's just going to be like no, those are lies of the enemy. Like no, those are lies of the enemy. Like enemy, you go back to hell, where you belong, because you're a lying thief. I can totally relate to you on that, chris, because I stepped away for the same reason, not because what I was going through, but because just of the fear of seeing what my mom had went through, and it's a real fear. Yours lasted for four months, mine lasted for two years, and it's a it's a real fear. You know, yours lasted for four months, mine lasted for two years, and when I came back I that's when, like I just got connected.

Speaker 1:

Right away I started serving in my church and then eventually I started working in ministry and that's where I I truly believe that God has. You know, we know God has a plan for us, right? God knew what you were going to do. God knew the valleys that you were going to endure. God knew this book that you were going to write the day that you were born. That's what he created you for, and I know that you know my role in ministry that has done that too.

Speaker 1:

The enemy gets a whiff of that and he tries to take you out as early as possible, right, because he wants you on this other side doing what we're doing now.

Speaker 1:

And that's where, like, I'm going to tell the listener, you got to keep fighting, don't let those lies of the enemy get you down, because you're going to let him win, and if you let him win, then these battles are not going to get any easier. I tell you that. So, chris, let's get back a little bit, because I let's go deep into your story now, because you've had some very deep valleys and you've just touched, I think, the surface of what you have shared in the book just a little bit. You know your mother with breast cancer, your daughter being diagnosed with diabetes, your son with leukemia. You know you stepping away for a little bit. Now, what through all of this and if you want to go a little deeper into your story and to kind of getting you know, sharing with the audience a little bit more of where you've had to even go deeper with trusting God with your son and so forth, but if you can, just in going deeper, also share some of your greatest takeaways about trusting God during those most difficult times.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely. I think first is understanding more of who God is, and I think that is critical because if you truly understand who he is, it makes you it's so much easier to trust him. I think the other thing is that relying on the Holy Spirit and asking the Holy Spirit to speak to you, every situation is a little different, so it's not like you do X, y and then Z is going to happen, right, but when you pray, the Lord will lead you to different people or a different book or a different passage in scripture. One day I was so frustrated and I said to my husband I just feel like the Lord is against us and he's like I can't believe. You just said this and we were talking on the phone and he hung up on me and I was so mad and I'm like Lord.

Speaker 3:

If that's not true, I need a word from you, and I don't necessarily recommend doing this, but I just opened my Bible and it opened to Lamentations 3. And I thought I was going to be struck by lightning, because it starts talking about how the Lord's hand is against him and all like for 18 verses. It's just like, oh my goodness, I'm like expected lightning to come through the roof, but then it comes to. But I have hope because of this. His mercies are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.

Speaker 3:

So that's just one example of how, when you ask the Holy well, I didn't really ask the Holy Spirit, but I did say I needed a word and you go to scripture that God's going to kind of lead you to the truth that you need to hear. Another thing is to share what you're going through with others that are trusted believers, because they're going to speak truth into your life. Learning to pray and say okay, lord, this is hard, but what do you want me to learn from this? How do you want me to respond? Instead of allowing our flesh to respond and I found that that has helped my initial reaction might be to get in my flesh, but then when I take a breath and I pray and I ask the Lord, you know to show me, let your Holy Spirit lead my thoughts, guide my words. It's a game changer, mm. Hmm, oh, for sure.

Speaker 1:

For sure, chris. Yes, I do know that the more you you dive in, like you said, you just open the word, you know, um. So that that right there, in just going into into God's word and the truths that you find in there, that has been something that for me over the last like year, that I've really been going deep with God's word, the life that it brings to you, like the fresh air, like it's like new breath that is in you. Right, you see things in a different perspective and I don't know how to explain it to people where I just tell them, like, just read the Bible, just study the word.

Speaker 1:

You know, I have yellow post-its all over my bedroom, chris, literally I'm looking in front of me right now. Over my desk I have like seven different verses that are just plastered everywhere and I started plastering them around the walls. I set the bathroom walls by the light, the light switch, you know, the doors and my closet. I have these verses because I need to surround myself with these words of encouragement, because our minds are a battlefield that the enemy is constantly trying to take over and it is his easiest way to attack us in our thought process, right? So the more that we can fulfill ourselves and surround ourselves with God's word. And look at these verses and just remind myself you know, right here I have Philippians 4, 6 through 7, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Speaker 1:

I have this purposely over my computer because I so very easily can sit here and get anxious and get stressed and get overwhelmed when I'm doing my work and I just look up in the corner and says do not be anxious about anything, and it calms my heart. You know so. So it is amazing what God's word can do to your mind, your body and your spirit In kind of transitioning. Chris, I do want to still go a little bit deeper with your story and kind of continue us along the journey in your book of what you shared, because you haven't even gotten on the deepest valley that you're going to have to get. So can you kind of just take a little bit deeper into the book and the next valley that you had to endure in this walk?

Speaker 3:

Absolutely. After that we took Andrew back to the local children's hospital and we started physical therapy. He was in the hospital six days a week, four hours a day, and he really did physical therapy over a year, but he regained back almost everything he lost. So like I saw God's goodness in that, because the doctors didn't expect him to do that. Their goal was to keep him from being in a wheelchair. Then, a year later, his blood pressure started increasing and I you know, they put him on a couple blood pressure medicines and then, like every two weeks, we were either increasing one of the meds he was on or adding a new one, and he ended up being on five blood pressure medicines and his one oncologist said to me well, at least we bought you five years. And, like I knew, things didn't look good at that time. I think he was on 15 medications and then, if we couldn't get his blood pressure down, we'd give him nifedipine and I just I almost felt like it was a do-over and I'm like Lord, I trust you, I believe that you're going to heal him. And he ended up having a cyst on his kidney. They removed the cyst and it leveled out his blood pressure, but he was still on 15 medications.

Speaker 3:

We ended up feeling like the Lord was telling us to move to Charlotte. He was six years old at this time. It was hard to leave all those good doctors, but we just knew like it was unbelievable. He told my husband and I the same night at church and when we moved there, you know I was so hopeful and things weren't necessarily smooth. He had seven volumes of medical records. The specialist in Charlotte didn't feel like he knew how to handle graft versus host disease, referred us to a doctor in Columbia, South Carolina. Ai DuPont sent all seven volumes of his medical records there, Called did you receive it? No, Long story short, someone signed for him and no one knew who the person was. Well, we were paying over $600 a month in co-pays just for medicine, so our bank account was, you know, running out really quick. We did not have the money to recopy. Ai DuPont says we only copy once and sent.

Speaker 3:

So from November to April his medical records were lost and once again, like probably two and a half months into it. I'm like, seriously, Lord, you moved us down here. My son needs help. You created the world in six days. Why can't you make those medical records appear and I didn't hear anything after my tirade. God was just like silent. But the first week in April I got a call and his doctor said this is so strange. But when I walked into my office this morning, all seven volumes of Andrew's medical records were on my desk. And it's really interesting because we're starting a new drug trial for a drug that was just FDA approved this fall. It's called Embrow and we'd like to put him in that trial.

Speaker 3:

And do you know? That is the drug that saved his life. By the time he was 15, he was off all of his medicines. Wow, oh, Chris, that gave me chills. Oh, I know, I know. So. So let me tell you what I said when I realized it was getting better about two or three weeks later. We're driving back from Columbia, South Carolina, and I am just praising God and I'm so thankful. And I just sensed in my spirit and I heard, like since, the Lord saying Kristen, which my mom always called me Kristen when I was in trouble. I want you to remember I see the big picture and you don't, and I will tell you that that is a truth that I would have to go back to several times from that point, but it is such a profound reminder just because we don't see God working does not mean he is not working.

Speaker 1:

Mm, hmm, oh, so, so dang good. Yes, god is always working on our behalf. We just, we don't see it. And I mean talk about timing, like if, if those records had showed up in the timing that you wanted them to, this trial would not have like it wouldn't have been presented yeah, it wouldn't have been presented in the time that it needed to. So it's just trusting God's timing and trusting his plan. You know, and sometimes that's so hard, right, chris? I actually I don't want to say sometimes it's always hard. It is always hard because we are here with him and as we're waiting in that valley, we're just like Lord, just lift me up out of here, just just take me. But it's, you know. He's like no, I'm keeping you safe.

Speaker 1:

I have a little letter board in our loft here and I frequently I try to do it every month I change, I'll put a different verse or a different quote on there, and right now and I shared this on my social media actually but it says God's three answers Number one is yes, number two is not yet and number three is I have something better for you. And when I saw that quote, I go to like Pinterest and I look for, like Jesus quotes or Bible verses for letterboards and stuff. And I saw that and I was just like this is so good. Yes, it's either yes, not yet, or I have something better for you. Right, and I have experienced that so true in my walk with God. You know it's never a no, never a no. God doesn't, it's not no, it's just never a no. God doesn't. It's not no, it's just, I have something better for you. You just got to wait on me, like it's not this, I just have something better or not yet. Like in your hands right here. You're like I need those records now and God's just like not yet. Chris, just trust me, not yet Now.

Speaker 1:

For listeners that are new to your story, can you kind of fast forward ahead and let us know, you know, give us a little insight of the biggest battle and just how you kind of process through getting to that next, know how to cultivate hope even in the heart? Now you listeners, you're listening right now to Chris's story and you're just like, wow, this woman has gone through everything. This isn't even it. Y'all, this isn't even it. So, Chris, can you just take us there?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So Andrew, who had a learning disability, is a child. God healed him by the time he's 15, he's off all of his medications. He took AP and honor classes his last two years of high school. He ended up going to or transferring to Liberty University, made amazing friends. Every time he came home he'd bring home three to five guys. They would eat us out of house and home. But we absolutely loved it and he really. He ended up becoming a prayer leader and then a spiritual life coach and then eventually an RA at Liberty University and he felt called to go into ministry.

Speaker 3:

So he was beginning well, he had just finished two years in seminary, he had one semester left and he was supposed to be in Lynchburg that summer with his friends. They were just enjoying life and he called at the last minute and said do you guys care if I come home and spend summer home in Hilton Head? And we're like you're always welcome home as long as you have a job. So that summer we had all three of our grown kids in Hilton Head and it was such an amazing blessing. We had family dinners. We expected our youngest daughter to get engaged at any time, so we knew this was probably the last summer it would be just the five of us and in July Andrew's back started hurting. So at first we're like you know, make sure you drink more water stretch. We took him to a chiropractor. Then we took him to urgent care because the pain increased. Then they thought he had arthritis in his back, which made sense from his graft versus host disease. But his pain continued to increase. He went back up to school, saw his doctor. His blood work was great, except for one little number was slightly off and the doctor said that usually indicates gallbladder disease. So she wanted to do an ultrasound. Well, they found a kidney on his gallbladder. So we went guiding, took him back to Charlotte where all of his old doctors were, and they ended up doing an MRI and they found a larger tumor on his kidney and he had cancer kind of throughout his body his lungs, couple spots on his spine, a little spot on his liver and he ended up being diagnosed with a very rare kidney cancer.

Speaker 3:

But I will tell you, because of what we wrestled through earlier, there were things that I knew like I knew God was good, I knew he's always at work, that he fights for us, and I'd also learned the power of praise. And I was reading, I started playing praise music right away and I began reading Andrew, the Psalms, and there's another verse in Psalm 71 that had really spoke to me. So I went quickly to that Psalm and when I came to verse 14, it says as for me, I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more. And it is like that first jumped off the page at me and I just clung to that and I'm like Lord the way through this valley, I know is praise and we did.

Speaker 3:

We just praised him and there was such power in that and I think all the lessons that I learned, like I learned the importance of sharing with others, of being thankful, of persevering, of remembering what God has done in the past, right On meditating on words he'd given me or on things that he had done, all those different things that help cultivate hope. And that's really what gave me hope. And I will tell you, I was 100% convinced that God was just going to do one more miracle and that we would just have an unbelievable story to share of his goodness and faithfulness. And God didn't quite answer our prayers the way we'd hoped, but I can tell you it is still a story of God's goodness and his faithfulness. Yes, oh goodness.

Speaker 1:

Now, chris, your son. He passed away. How many years now has it been?

Speaker 3:

It is six. It'll be six years February 2nd, so he was diagnosed September 2nd and he went to be with Jesus February 2nd or January 2nd, so it was exactly four months from the day he was diagnosed till he went to be with Jesus.

Speaker 1:

And, as you were saying, the miracle didn't happen the way that you wanted it to happen, but the miracle had still happened, just not the way you wanted it to, because your son is fully healed at the right hand of Jesus right now.

Speaker 3:

you know, and in fact, when he took his last breath, there was 12 of us in the room and I turned around and I looked at everybody and I said I think Andrew just said to Jesus why didn't you take me 24 years ago, right when he had leukemia and there were a couple of times we almost died?

Speaker 3:

I think we do not even begin to comprehend the glory of heaven and being in Jesus's presence, and I think one of the gifts that my husband and I have received through Andrew going ahead of us is we are not near as attached to this world. In Hebrews it says we're just sojourners. Right, this is not our home, and we truly believe that Things that maybe prior I felt were kind of important. It doesn't matter what your job is, where you live, how much money you have. I mean, we are so blessed by amazing friends, but even with who your friends are like, we are here on this earth to share the love of God and it is like a blink of an eye and then we're going to spend all of eternity with him and that's pretty amazing.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it is, chris. You literally have me in tears right now Because I mean just your story together, but I just I have to share with the audience. So when Chris and I we spent three wonderful days together at this conference, and really I mean to walk into a room with 12 women that you don't know and open your heart up, it's different level ministry right there. But Chris just had this light and glow around her. I mean she embraced me with the biggest hug, her her Southern you know grace and her her Southern charm, just really like I gravitated to her because I'm like God, this woman is just so filled with joy Like I can feel her, her presence. I could feel her love, her energy that the Holy Spirit fills her with. And then I think it was like maybe day two that you opened up about your story and I would have never imagined that someone so filled with joy, so filled with optimism, so filled with love and hope went through the valleys that you went through, chris, knowing the struggle that you went through with your son, with your family. And I don't even think when we had met I didn't know the story about your mom until I read the first chapter of your book and I'm like, oh good Lord, I didn't know that she even went through this before she went through the challenge with her son. She even went through this before she went through the challenge with her son.

Speaker 1:

And to see what God has done in your life, chris, you are just an inspiring woman to look up to as far as your faith walk, and I have seen how God has put this story in you to really speak to other people and help them.

Speaker 1:

You know, I mean you're inspiring me as I'm sitting here in tears and just thinking, like, look at the joy that's in her heart as she's sharing this message, because God has felt that that void, you know, and and the trust that you have in the Lord is just so inspiring also. So just thank you for writing this book and this message of hope. Now I, just as we begin to wrap up I mean I can sit here forever with you, chris, but I just want you to kind of sum up like you shared some great ways that when you're kind of ways to help you cultivate hope, you know, in worship and praying and all of that, and you were saying the hardest time that you were enduring, with your taking your son's last breath, that you guys are in the room there and I can just imagine God's presence. You know, can you just share with the audience of just closing out, like for that listener that's just in that valley right now, giving them just those words of encouragement?

Speaker 3:

Absolutely, I think. First, to know that you can't microwave hope or faith right, you have to spend time with the Lord. But I think of the man who asked Jesus to heal his son if he could, and Jesus said, if I can. And the man said, I believe, help my unbelief. And I think that that's something to realize that the Lord knows right that we struggle and when you're struggling, be honest with him. I would not have, I think, been able to respond as quickly with praise during Andrew's second cancer if I hadn't gone through and wrestled with God when we almost lost him right. So, wherever you are, God says he's always there and he's waiting for us. But just be honest with him. And if you're like you know what, I don't have faith right now or I don't have hope, you can say Lord, I need you, Please fill me with hope. Just pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give you all that you need, and maybe even things that you don't know that you need, and pray and ask that you would hear God's voice. I think that's something I started praying in my early 20s is Lord, help me to have wisdom and discernment and allow me to hear your voice and obey. And I think that that prayer that I would pray daily, and I still do, are ways that it allowed me to hear the Lord. But it's definitely a process and the Lord understands that.

Speaker 3:

I love Romans 15, 13. And it says May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. So you know what? Pray that verse. Pray scripture out loud. Say scripture out loud. There is power in that and the enemy cannot stand to be in the voice of God's word so like. If you just feel under attack, speak those verses out loud. You just feel under attack. Speak those verses out loud. If you don't know how to praise God, open up the Psalms and find a couple verses and say it out loud to God and you will be amazed at how the enemy will flee and the Holy Spirit just allows you to sense his presence.

Speaker 1:

Yes, oh, so good, chris, so so good. Thank you so much. Now, I always this is such a deep conversation and I know you know it, probably we have listeners in tears also, just kind of thinking of not just the valley that you went through, but the valleys that they're going through, and your message of hope is just so inspiring and I know that it's going to impact so many listeners. I always like to end on a joyful note, so I always ask my listeners a couple of fun questions just to kind of end us out, you know, in a fun way. So the first question that I want to ask and this is more of like, you know, a fun answer if you can give like something that brings you joy you know, we know that the joy of the Lord is my strength and my hope and all that what is? Just something fun that you do, maybe something that you and your husband do, or something you know silly that just brings you joy?

Speaker 3:

So I would say the silly thing that brings me so much joy is I live at the beach and I love finding shark teeth. So I kind of laugh and I the Lord just allows me to see them. Like my friends are like she's the shark tooth magnet. But especially when I find a larger one, I'm like thank you, god, and my husband's like you are so crazy, but that is something that brings me joy. And then gathering people around my table I am happiest when I have a crowd around my dining room table.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love that, okay. So Chris, what do you do with the teeth when you find them? Do you just collect them? Do you do anything fun with them? I do, I don't have.

Speaker 3:

So the big teeth I put in a special box, but the rest of the teeth I just put in a jar. When kids come over, you know, I'll show them and I'll let them take a couple, but I find they always go for the largest ones.

Speaker 1:

So, like my, prize was I keep it a box because I like they're pretty rare to find them. Yeah, size, that is so cool, it's it's so cool.

Speaker 3:

But then it's kind of alarming at the same time, because I'm like how many shark are swimming in that ocean that you get all those teeth they're actually black, they're fossils and when they dredge, especially in the one place I go, the island was made from the dredgings of it, so they're like really, really old. Um. So okay, if you find a white one that's from a shark that's still alive, but the black ones lived a long time ago okay, gotcha gotcha, because I won't be swimming in those waters where you tread, that's for sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now next fun question. What is a song, or even maybe like an artist, that if you put their music on it can get you out of a funk or it can get you going, you know, like your great workout or dance music? What's that one artist?

Speaker 3:

So I was born in the North but I have become a country girl, southern girl at heart. So probably most people haven't heard the song. It's caught up in the country by Rodney Atkins, but it is just like a fun song of the simple joys that it's a little bit upbeat and anyway it just makes me smile.

Speaker 1:

Oh, fun, fun, Okay. And then the last question. Now we want all the listeners to go get your book. You know what, Chris do? You have a copy of your book on you right now.

Speaker 3:

I actually. I have an author's copy, Okay.

Speaker 1:

Can you just hold it up? There you go, so plug and knock the darkness right there.

Speaker 3:

There's a blinding hope in life's valley. So that's exciting. But I will tell you a book that I actually reference in the book and it's 1000 Gifts by Anne Bonskamp and she really talks about how she was in a severe depression. And she really talks about how she was in a severe depression and a friend challenged her to write down three things a day that she was thankful for. She actually also took pictures of things and how, just making that list I think her friend said I bet you can't find a thousand things you're thankful for and it totally changed her heart and changed her relationship with the Lord. But I think if I could say other than you know, make sure you're a Christian and just allow the Holy Spirit to minister you is. Cultivating a thankful heart just changes your whole perspective on life. And I think that book plus she is a very gifted writer so you almost feel like you're reading poetry.

Speaker 1:

Yes, love it. Okay, what was the name of the book? Again, a Thousand Gifts. One Thousand Gifts.

Speaker 3:

Okay. By Anne Bonskamp. A-o-s-k-a-n-g-e-n-p.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I have somebody else. I am certain another guest on the podcast had referenced that book before, because I know I've written it down before I hope not.

Speaker 1:

And this may be God's silent. I need to go get it and read it soon, because I've heard this book before and, who knows, maybe you shared about this book before in one of our like meetings or something. I don't know. I just know I've heard of this book before, so I definitely need to go get it. But y'all need to go get Chris's book. It's available on Amazon right now. You can get it as a Kindle and stuff as well Right now. Share with the audience. Let us know all the places that they can get the book and also where they can connect with you.

Speaker 3:

Okay, so the book is available on Amazon only. I self-published, so they are the main distributor. You can also get a free study guide six-week study guide to go with the book on my website, which is findinghopeinlifesvalleyscom. I'm on Facebook as Chris McBride and Finding Hope in Life Valleys, and then on Instagram KAMcBride3. And then also at Finding Hope in Life's Valleys.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, and we will put all the links in the show notes there and I will make sure to connect them to that study guide. I need to get the study guide also. I haven't downloaded that yet, so I need to go and get that, as I'm reading through your book right now. So, chris, thank you so much. It was such an honor, such a privilege, and I know that your story is going to just really impact somebody today. So, for the listeners, until next time, go chase joy.