Your Joyful Order With Leslie Martinez

#87 Book Club: Breaking Free from Unworthiness: My Journey with Jamie Kern Lima's Book “Worthy"

• Leslie Martinez • Season 5 • Episode 87

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Imagine redefining the concept of rejection as divine protection. This profound shift in perspective is just one of the many insights shared in this episode inspired by Jamie Kern Lima’s impactful book, "Worthy." I open up about my journey of overcoming self-doubt and embracing my inherent worth. In addition, share a special moment I shared with Jamie herself.  Inspired by Jamie's own experiences, we explore how understanding the difference between self-confidence and self-worth can transform our lives and give us the courage to pursue our dreams.

As we journey through this exploration, we also tackle the societal beauty standards that often distort our self-perception. By amplifying the voice of our inner wisdom over the noise of doubting minds, we're learning to challenge and redefine the limiting beliefs that hold us back from true joy and fulfillment. This conversation provides practical tools to confront these false narratives, inviting you to reflect on the lies you might be believing and to embrace your worthiness in God’s eyes, fully and unapologetically. Join us for a transformative discussion on pursuing your God-given potential and living a life anchored in true worth.

Get the book "Worthy" here: https://a.co/d/6lnmepG

Connect with Leslie:

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Website: https://www.yourjoyfulorder.com/

Email: lmartinez@yourjoyfulorder.com
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Speaker 1:

Hey friends, thanks for tuning in to this episode. This month we have been exploring books that inspire, transform and uplift, and today we're diving in to one of my favorite books, called Worthy, by Jamie Kern Lima. It's a powerful book that tackles one of the most important issues we all face our own sense of self-worth. So in this episode, I'll be sharing some of Jamie's incredible insights on breaking free from the lies that we tell ourselves and learning to own our own innate worth. I'm also going to get a little personal and tell you how meeting Jamie Kern Lima really truly changed my life, especially in redefining the feeling of rejection. So this episode is all about embracing the truth that you are worthy just as you are, because no one, no one can give or take that away from you. So let's get started.

Speaker 2:

Hey everyone, I'm Leslie Martinez and you're listening to your Joyful Order podcast. Each week I will bring you joyful stories that will motivate and inspire you and, at the same time, bring order to your everyday life. Let's just say the show will be a mixture of preaching and teaching, with a kick of motivation from your girl here. Welcome to your Joyful Order podcast.

Speaker 1:

Now many of you may know Jamie Kern Lima as the founder of it Cosmetics, the first female CEO of L'Oreal and an inspiring force in the beauty industry. But in her book Worthy that we'll be getting into today, she goes much deeper than just her surface level CEO. She not only shares her entrepreneurial journey, but also the emotional internal battles that she faced and, most importantly, how she found her worth beyond success, beauty or approval. So let's start with a key theme from Jamie's book, and that's worthiness. One quote from her book that just really stood out to me is when Jamie says the most beautiful thing is nobody can give us this worthiness and no one can take it away. Every person is innately fully worthy. Isn't that powerful?

Speaker 1:

Now, jamie teaches us that worthiness is not something that we can earn through accomplishments or through approval. It is something that we have from the start, and I want to add in a few reminders here. I want to give you some scripture that just backs this up. I oftentimes have to refer to scripture when I'm feeling unworthy, when I am self-doubting myself, when I am having fear or anxiety, just question my existence, basically and these are some of the scriptures that I come back to often that I have made a part of my just you know encouragement when I need to have the word behind that fear, that doubt, that feeling of unworthiness. So I want to share some of these scriptures with you. If you want to write them down, please do. These are great scriptures.

Speaker 1:

To come back to, the first one is Ephesians 2.10, and it says for we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Y'all we are worthy because he created us that way. God created us to do good works. We are God's handiwork. Therefore, we are a masterpiece that God created. He prepared the plans for us in advance. He knows what he's going to do with us before we even, you know, have come into this earth. And to think of how amazing God's handiwork is that he has put so much effort into creating us to have our own DNA, to have our own fingerprint, to be so unique.

Speaker 1:

This verse right here, this is my verse of the year for 2024. And for me, I wanted to have this verse as my verse for the year because I needed to remind myself that I am God's masterpiece, but that he also created me to do good works. And if I have that ingrained in me that I need to do good works for God, it helps motivate me to continue to do the things that he called me to do, like this podcast, to create journals, to coach, to serve, to do Bible studies, to do all of that. And he prepared all of this in advance for me to do. He not only prepared everything in advance for me to do, but he prepared everything in advance for you to do. He created you as his handiwork. He created you to do good works. I want you to apply these scriptures as they are being spoken directly to you, and that's when I read these scriptures I kind of reframe them to speak directly to me Like God created me as his handiwork.

Speaker 1:

Now let's go to the next verse, which is Psalm 139, 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. This verse right here just reinforces the idea that we are created by God in a purposeful and wonderful way, making each of us valuable and worthy of love and respect. God made you wonderful already. Like we don't have to earn this. God so graciously gave it to us. He created us as being worthy. We are worthy because we are his children and we have to own that worth. But oftentimes we forget, and that's where some of these scriptures just come back in, as a reminder, to remind us whose we are and who we are in Christ.

Speaker 1:

Here's the last verse to share with you, and it's Romans 5, 8. And it says but God demonstrates his own love for us in this While we are still sinners, christ died for us. Here our worth is established not by our actions, but by the fact that Christ gave his life for us even when we were undeserving of it, his life for us even when we were undeserving of it. It's just a profound reminder that our worth is inherited and not earned. God, we like your center, I'm a center and God still loves me. God still thinks I'm worthy, god still thinks that I have a destiny with him, a destiny with him.

Speaker 1:

And I want you to just hold these scriptures tight, because many of us that struggle with the feeling of unworthiness where we find our worth and our achievements? Or in people and um accolades and all of that we have to get down to knowing whose we are and who we are in Christ, because that's where our worth comes from, and I have struggled with this myself for many years. I've struggled with self-doubt, with feelings of unworthiness, I've been stripped away of titles and have so humbly had to really find my identity in Christ. And these are just some of those scriptures that really helped me to get to that level and I wanted to share these with you before we go any further with the book. And these scriptures are not in the book, and that's why I wanted to add these, because she does talk so much about just finding our self-worth in kind of our soul, you know, and I really think that it just comes back to looking at these scriptures right here.

Speaker 1:

Now. Her book really focuses on helping us unlearn all the lies that make us feel like we aren't good enough. Jamie even says that you're never too young or too old to start building your self-worth. So even if you're as young as you know 16, 17, 18 years old or as old as 75, you can change how you view yourself. Now. It's never, ever too late to change how you view yourself. Your self-worth helps to create a self-confidence in you that also allows you to go and do the things that God is calling you to do.

Speaker 1:

Now, as I mentioned about self-confidence I want us to have a clear understanding of self-confidence versus worthiness. Now, self-confidence refers to the belief in your abilities, that's, your skills and your competence. It's also about trusting that you can succeed at a task or face a challenge based on your past experiences or preparation, or face a challenge based on your past experiences or preparation. Now, self-confidence is often situational, which means that your confidence might be high in areas where you've had success and lower in areas that are unfamiliar. So I personally feel that I'm a very confident person. I am very confident that I can go out and do a lot of things Like I don't fear speaking in front of people, I don't fear asking questions. I, for the most part, don't fear looking dumb in front of others. Believe me y'all, I've been a teacher. Like I have done the whole song and dance and dress foolishly in front of so many kids that I mean I don't embarrass easily. All right, I laugh at myself very easily. So that has helped to build my self-confidence.

Speaker 1:

Now, when Jamie had kind of broke down this difference between self-confidence and worthiness, I never really sat with worthiness too much until she really started to unpack it a little bit and there was just like this surface level, like you know, kind of dusting off of this worthiness that I think I buried, because I didn't know how to begin to unbury that and process that emotion. And I always kind of confuse self-confidence with worthiness. My self-confidence allowed me to do all these things and know that, oh, I can learn that, I can do that, I can speak in front of others, but my worth is very different. Now, your worthiness, that is the inherent belief that you deserve love, respect, good things, regardless of your accomplishments, abilities or external validations. It's a deep, intrinsic sense of value that isn't based on what you do or achieve, but on your fundamental worth as a person. So, in short, self-confidence is about what you can do and your worthiness is about who you are, and it's very important to know and understand the difference.

Speaker 1:

And when it was broken down for me like this, I was able to clearly evaluate my own self-confidence and my self-worth and I realized that a lot of my self-worth was tied to things like to people, things and achievements, which they should not be. I had to reevaluate and say you know what my self-worth is, who I am in Christ. I deserve love, I deserve respect, I deserve good things, regardless of how much money is in my bank, what degrees I hold, what career position any of that and for a long time I held my worthiness in titles, in things, and it was a really big eye-opening experience for me when I sat with this concept of defining self-confidence versus worthiness. Now, while self-confidence can fluctuate depending on circumstances, worthiness is constant. Though we may never struggle to believe it at times. It just our worthiness. Once we know who we are in Christ, it never changes. Cultivating a sense of worthiness helps anchor your self-confidence, ensuring that setbacks and failures don't diminish your sense of personal value.

Speaker 1:

Now Jamie shares stories of how low self-worth shows up in our lives. She writes low self-worth can show up when you're stuck and don't know why. We tell ourselves stories like we need more experience, more skills or more time before we can pursue our dreams. Does that sound familiar? That's straight from her book. Right there y'all. I know that I have been there. I almost want to say I'm kind of like there right now and I shared with you that I have this desire to be an author and there's this whole self-worth thing of you know, I don't know. Is my writing good enough? I think I need to gain more skills in that. I need to practice. I think I need to be more. You know around more authors. I don't know that I'm ready to write my book yet.

Speaker 1:

This low self-worth has come from just my struggle with self-worth and questioning am I worthy enough? Do people want to hear my story? Do they want to hear what I have to say? But it's something that I feel that God has put on my heart to share my story and my journey with others. Therefore, it's something that I have to dig deep and say I'm worthy of writing a book, I am worthy of being an author. I have the skills that I need. I am wise enough, smart enough, people need to hear my story. And I go back. I was created to do God's work. I am his handiwork, for which he prepared in advance for me to do, and I feel that tug in my heart that God is leading me to do a book. But I self-doubt myself. Y'all I really do, and I'm sure that you know I'm not the only one, you that are listening on the other side.

Speaker 1:

I am certain, struggled with the same feeling of low self-worth, that you need more experience. You know, maybe a job that you're applying for and you see what the requirements are and you're like well, I don't meet all of those, I'm not even going to waste my time. Oftentimes we kind of almost like belittle ourselves. You know, we put ourselves in a box and think that we're not worthy of great things. And I just want to remind you that you are. You're worthy of good things, I'm worthy of good things and we are worthy of the dreams that God is calling us to be fulfilled. We are worthy of the great things that God is calling us to do, the good works that he called us to do. Now Jamie also says that we can achieve big things and on the outside it looks like we've got it all together, but inside we feel like something is missing. So often this is because, deep down, we don't truly believe that we're worthy.

Speaker 1:

Even though Jamie built a billion dollar company and was incredibly successful, she still struggled with self-worth, like she didn't feel worthy, and her breakthrough moment came when she realized that no achievement could fill that gap. She had to own her worth from within. Here, this billion dollar CEO, like someone that could have anything pretty much that she wanted to. She was at the top of the world, she had just hit the Forbes list, she sold her business and she's CEO of this amazing makeup line, and she struggled with self-worth, doubting herself, doubting her ability, doubting her skills, doubting that she should be sitting at these tables with some of the people that she was sitting at and I'm certain that she there's someone listening right now that is struggling with the same thing.

Speaker 1:

You may not be a billionaire of a Forbes vibe company or you know any of that, but you just struggle, knowing your worth in who God created you to be. You struggle and question, but, god, I'm a sinner. I've done so much in my past. You know things that are unforgivable. God, I'm a sinner. I've done so much in my past. You know things that are unforgivable and you question if you're even worthy to have a relationship with God. And I want to take you back to those scriptures. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are sinners and God still loves us. Now I want to share my own personal story of what I have struggled with with this whole, you know, self worth concept, and it's something that I haven't gone deep into because it's still like kind of emotional when I talk about it. So I'm going to do my best to not totally lose it here.

Speaker 1:

But last year, in September actually of 2023, I had the opportunity to meet Jamie Kern Lima. I was at a conference it was called the empower her conference in Denver, and she had came to speak on this topic of self-worth and she had just introduced her book. Her book hadn't, so this was September. Her book was being released in that following February of of 2024. So her book hadn't yet been released, but she came to share about her book, um, and just kind of walk us through some exercises. So one of the things that I love that I have experienced with Jamie is that she's a woman of action. She's not just like all talk, she's action. So she spoke with us at this conference and one of the things that she had us do is she had us write down three things or three times in our life when we have dealt with rejection, and I'll never forget this experience.

Speaker 1:

So, growing up, I struggled with a deep feeling of unworthiness, particularly due to my relationship with my father and his rejection of me. For many years, my father rejected having a relationship with me or my sister, and this is something that I always thought that I kind of dealt with it and forgave and got past it, and I did indeed forgive and I moved on. However, I never realized how it impacted my self-worth until this event. I had to think really hard, and she specifically wanted to talk about times that we felt rejection or failure and I wrote down. You know, there were three things that I wrote down and I'm only going to share one, but the one was the rejection of my father Cause. This one, this is actually the one that is most significant and this is the one that I winded up sharing with Jamie.

Speaker 1:

So that feeling of not being good enough weighed on me for years and it was like why does my father not want to have a relationship with me? How can he turn his back on me? How can he not want a relationship with his grandchildren? How can he not want to see his daughter and talk to her over the phone? Communication was never a big thing for my father and even me processing through a lot of this I mean going back to before this experience with Jamie I had to unpack a lot of things through coaching and therapy and pastoral sessions and journaling, and that's why, sitting here at this time last year, like I felt, you know good, like there's nothing. You know I've done, I've dealt with everything with my father and I'm just, I'm over it at this point. I've, I've gotten where I'm at, I'm healed, I'm good. I know that all of this is for a reason. God shared with me the reason in this moment and it was the most profound moment ever. I didn't expect for God to speak to me in this way, in this event, in a room filled with like 400 people, and then get up and share it to Jamie and all of these people.

Speaker 1:

So Jamie had us write this down right. So the three either failures or rejections and I wrote the one down is my father rejecting me? And what she wanted us to do. She wanted us to revisit it, like redefine it. She said because your self-worth is not based in what you just wrote down, it's not based in those failures and it's not based in that rejection. I want you to. And she said I want you to redefine that. Those three things Sat there for a really long time. How can I redefine this right? So here's what I wrote down as my, as my, redefining my dad's rejection. I wrote my dad's rejection is God's protection because he is not worthy of me.

Speaker 1:

So that feeling of not being good enough that was weighing on me for years. It was like this sense of freedom, this like relief that I didn't even know that I was carrying this weight on my shoulders. After I wrote that down, I just started bawling. I was sitting in a room with 400 women. I was bawling my eyes out because I was like I didn't realize that my father's rejection all these years were causing a sense of unworthiness within me.

Speaker 1:

So Jamie was coming around the room and she was asking people to share their new definition of rejection or failure. And I was sitting there with my little notepad. Literally, you guys, this was my notepad right here. If you were watching on YouTube, this is my notepad where I wrote it, right here. And I'm sitting here with this. Tears are rolling down my eyes and I'm saying I'm not standing up and sharing this, like no way, this is too deep.

Speaker 1:

I just had kind of a God aha, life altering moment right now of something that I thought I dealt with and clearly I didn't. And I had this moment and I just felt that tug in my gut of the Holy Spirit just telling me Leslie, stand up and share this, leslie, stand up and share this. And I'm just like just telling me Leslie, stand up and share this, leslie, stand up and share this. And I'm just like, nope, nope, I'm fighting it, you guys, I'm fighting it to the sense where I start shaking. So then I'm like holding my notepad and I'm shaking in tears, just, I'm bawling. So I'm pulling myself together and I'm just like, no, I'm not, I'm going to let her just go past me.

Speaker 1:

I'm looking down and she's coming around the corner and she's literally walking down the aisle towards me. I hadn't raised my hand yet and then she's like okay, anyone else, anyone else? She has the microphone and then, bam, my hand just goes up and I'm as my hands up, I'm like it's almost like an outer body experience. You know, and y'all, I don't embarrass, I wasn't embarrassed, I just I didn't want to share this with anybody. I really didn't. But my hand went up and I felt that nudge from the Holy Spirit Leslie, you need to get up and share. So I got up and I shared and I read exactly that my dad's rejection is God's protection, because he is not worthy of me. And that's how I redefined it. And as I was speaking it, of course I mean tears were rolling down my eyes.

Speaker 1:

It was hard for me to pull myself together and Jamie, she, just she was hugging me Like she was embracing me, rubbing my back, and I felt such a peace with her. Jamie is such an amazing woman and I really just felt her spirit at that moment and I knew that I was speaking to someone who knows Jesus, who knows God and is just doing good works for him. You know, I knew in that moment that me getting up to share it wasn't about me. It was about helping all the other women in the room who have struggled with rejection from a loved one redefine their rejection and know that their self-worth is not tied to rejection from a parent, a spouse, a loved one.

Speaker 1:

So, meeting Jamie gave she just gave me the most precious gift. She gave me the gift and the ability to free myself from unworthiness during our conversation. To free myself from unworthiness During our conversation, she um, you know I had shared that she just whispered in my ear and she said you know that you're worthy, right? And like I just nodded my head and said, yes, I'm worthy. And that moment was so significant to me because I had been struggling so much about where God is calling me and whether or not I am worthy because I faced so much rejection, like I mean, rejection from a parent is really hard to deal with. If you're on the other side of this and if you are, you know someone that has dealt with rejection from a parent, rejection from a spouse, rejection from a child I can feel your pain and I know how that can break your self self worth. I know how it can break you.

Speaker 1:

But I also know that God protects us in ways that doesn't make sense to us, right, and that's how I felt that God spoke that to me, that all of these years that I was struggling with, like you know, trying to establish a relationship with my dad, like a relationship that I wanted, you know, um, the relationship that we have right now is very one-sided, in that I am the one that reaches out to him, I am the one that sends messages, I am the one that calls, I am the one that goes to visit, I am the one who drops everything to go. You know, fly um seven hours to the country where he's at to go see him when he's sick and help him get medical care, go visit all his doctors and get paperwork and all of that stuff, but I don't get a phone call on my birthday or on Christmas or on Mother's Day or ever, ever. So those struggles are real. But I also know that God is protecting me for a reason God is protecting me from not getting hurt. God is protecting me from the pain and the hurt that my dad struggles with. There's a lot of pride and guilt, I know, in things that he has done, and God's protecting me from that. So in that moment with Jamie, I realized that rejection doesn't have to define me. It was a pivotal point for me and it redefined how I saw myself and my self-worth. So let's just let's get back now to Jamie's book, because the theme of redefining rejection just continues to run throughout it, and I want to touch upon a couple of other key points from her book.

Speaker 1:

Jamie talks a lot about reframing the labels that we attach to ourselves, and one of her most impactful questions is what is believing this costing me? She shares how believing that she wasn't good enough almost kept her from going after her dreams, and how it held her back from building meaningful relationships with people, even people that she admired, like Oprah. There's a great story that she shares about Oprah and how her and Oprah met. They had lunch, oprah exchanged numbers with her and said, hey, call me, keep in touch. And she never called her. She never called Oprah because she felt that she wasn't worthy enough to have Oprah as a friend. It took her like four years to actually pick up and call Oprah and now her and Oprah are like BFFs I don't know, it's something like that but she realized that self-worth isn't about what others think, but what we believe about ourselves. So this whole time she was believing that she wasn't worthy enough to have a relationship with someone as great and, you know, mighty, as good old Oprah. But she was denying herself of her own self-worth through that.

Speaker 1:

So there are lies that we tell ourselves. Like what is the cost of you believing those lies? Is it costing you great relationships? Is it costing you career, business opportunities, travel, because you think that you're not worthy enough? You're worthy enough, girl you are. I'm telling you that and I'm speaking to myself as I share this. You guys, I bring you topics about things that I have struggled with. A lot of the things that I share are stories that have touched me somehow, some way. This topic is heavy because I struggled so much with self-worth and I didn't even know it. So, as I am unpacking parts of the book to you, maybe some of this is resonating with you in a way that you really didn't even know that there are things that you know, lies that you're telling yourself that are costing you a lot right now. You know lies that you're telling yourself that are costing you a lot right now.

Speaker 1:

Now I want to share some research that I did myself. This isn't in the book, this is just separate, but I thought it was pivotal to bring some research in. Jamie does share some research in the book too, but I wanted to find research on what does it look like for women that struggle with self-worth? So I'm going to read this here to you. Research indicates that a significant number of women struggle with self-worth. A study done by Dove found that only 4% of women globally consider themselves beautiful and up to 85% experience low self-esteem due to societal pressures regarding beauty and body image. This problem is often linked to cultural and media influences that reinforce narrow standards of attractiveness and creating unrealistic expectations.

Speaker 1:

So oftentimes, our self-worth we tie it to what we look like. Also, what do we look like on the outside? Am I thin? Am I thin enough?

Speaker 1:

You know when I was reading this, all I could think about and this isn't to mock anybody, but this is just to give you like a picture in your head, I think, of what you would call your typical influencer on Instagram. You know the light skin, blonde hair girl with the big brim hat, wearing the neutral colors, that has the same long haircut that feathers in the front with the long, you know weave extensions with the lip fillers, the high cheekbones. You know the makeup that looks flawless, the lashes, all of that with their fancy long like almond shaped nails, holding the Louis Vuitton bag with the riding boots on and the brown pants and the big white oversized sweater. I'm giving you a picture. Okay, I'm not mocking, I promise I'm not mocking. I'm giving you a picture because that picture that you have, that you know right away who I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

That's what society has created a standard in today's culture of what beauty looks like. And if you don't look like this you know IG influencer, with the brim hat, the Louis Vuitton, the long nails, the neutral colors, the lip fillers, the high cheekbones, the big lashes, then you're not beautiful. That's what society has told us and these statistics show true to that. So then we start to question our self-worth like, oh well, I don't look like her. So then we start to question our self-worth, like, oh well, I don't look like her, so I don't feel worthy. I'm not beautiful enough like her to be an influencer. I'm not pretty enough like her to take these beautiful pictures. Who's going to want to buy stuff from me? I don't look like her. It is all an image that people want to create. And then you have people that are going out there that are altering their looks to look like that because that's what society has told them is beautiful Now.

Speaker 1:

Furthermore, this is more research, right here. Women tend to face more challenges in developing self-esteem compared to men. Research shows that self-esteem often fluctuates with age and life experiences, but societal expectations play a significant role, particularly for women. Now, according to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, women's self-esteem is more sensitive to relationship dynamics, personal achievements and societal validation. As a result, they are more likely to report feeling unworthy or inadequate in their personal and professional lives. Y'all right here. Research shows that women relate their self-esteem, their self-worth, to relationships, to personal achievements and to what the society says is okay. We all have done it.

Speaker 1:

I tied it to relationships and to achievements, y'all. I was never one for societal validation because I've always kind of veered to the left anyways and like paved my own road. But when it comes to relationships and achievements, I will say I tied myself worth to that oftentimes. Achievements yes, I was, I still am, a very like goal oriented person, but I have shifted in that I don't let the goals define me, I aim for them and I, you know, desire to do great things, but I'm not letting that define who I am or who I am in God.

Speaker 1:

Now, to combat this, um, experts actually recommend strategies like no hold on. Let me reframe this. I'm going to read exactly what this says, because and I left it on here I kind of I should have wrote a little note up above, because what I'm about to read you, I think, is so crap, you guys. This is this is just crap. This is the research that I found. Okay. So this is, after you know us tying our self-worth and self-esteem into achievements and social validation and relationships and all that.

Speaker 1:

So then it says, to combat this feeling of unworthiness, experts recommend strategies like self-compassion, redefining beauty standards and focusing on internal values and self-care to build self-worth. That's crap. That's all I'm just going to tell you right now research in what they're telling you, what they recommend, the strategies to do away with it. Oh, build self-compassion and self-worth and self-care. Go to the spa, make yourself feel pretty Horrible, horrible, horrible. This is why we don't always listen to research and what is put out there on the internet, y'all.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm going to tell you you know where you're going to find your self-worth, girl. You're going to find it by putting your nose in the Bible, put it in the word, put your head in the word. That's where you're going to get your self-worth. You're not going to get it by, oh, finding self-compassion, focus on your internal values. That's just a bunch of crap.

Speaker 1:

And I've said crap way too many times. Okay, that's the last time I'm saying crap, crap, there. It's crap, because, y'all, we get our self-worth from who we are in Christ. Yeah, that's where we get it from. You're not going to get it by building these, you know, or doing these exercises. That's going to build your self-worth. You're not going to get it by, you know, learning to do some self-care through exercise and going to the spa and doing your nails and your hair and all of that.

Speaker 1:

No, you're going to get it by knowing who you are in God, by going back to those scriptures and reminding yourself I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Knowing that, even though you are a sinner, god died for you so that you can have internal life and you can have a relationship with him. Knowing that God created you as a masterpiece. You are his handiwork, created to do good works. That's where your self-worth is. It isn't in going and spending the day at a spa and, you know, focusing on my internal values. No, you don't get it from that. Sorry, sister, that's not where it comes from.

Speaker 1:

Your identity in Christ defines your self-worth. Christ defines your self-worth. I'll say it again for the people in the back your identity in Christ defines your self-worth. That's how I discovered my self-worth. I had to find my identity in Christ. And how did I find my identity in Christ? Poking my nose in the book and writing scriptures, like I shared with you down, putting them on post-its in my bedroom and places where I can read it. When I am feeling like crap, when I'm feeling like I'm not worthy of anything, when I'm doubting my skills, my ability, when I'm feeling like a failure, I'm looking at those scriptures and I'm going into the Bible and I'm surrounding myself with people and influences and music and things that inspire me and direct me to God. That's where you're going to find your self-worth.

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Now kind of went off on a tangent there and that was all me. Y'all that wasn't from the book. Okay, that was all me. I said I'm bringing in my own research because I wanted to share that. None of that was in Jamie's book.

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But we're going to get back now into the book because there's a part in the book where she says and I love how she says this she says I had to turn down the volume of my doubting mind and turn up the volume of my knowing soul in your soul.

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That is where God resides, right, that is where he lives. He's in your soul, in your spirit, resides right, that is where he lives. He's in your soul, in your spirit. And isn't that a beautiful image that when we turn up the volume of our inner knowing, the noise of doubt, fear and rejection just gets quieter. And I will tell you there is so much truth to that because as I have gotten into the word and I've dug deep into my soul, the doubt, the fear, the rejection, it gets quieter, it doesn't go away. I, I'm going to tell you this it does not go away, it is there, but it gets quieter because you learn to turn up the volume of God's word, of your spirit, of your soul. So when the enemy starts to creep into your mind and put in the doubt, the fear, you know, the unworthiness.

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You're not smart enough, you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not skinny enough, you're just like nope, and you're going to turn up the volume of your spirit. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am God's handiwork. That's the volume that you got to turn up in your head. Now, one of the greatest lessons that Jamie shares in Worthy is about how our beliefs, not just our actions, shape our reality.

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She asked readers to think about what their limiting beliefs are costing them, not only in terms of missed opportunities, but in joy in relationships. Not only in terms of missed opportunities, but in joy in relationships, in personal fulfillment. So, as a coach, one of the things that I often do as a exercise with my clients is we write down limiting beliefs. What are limiting beliefs that you have? I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I don't, I don't know how. To you know, do certain things? My, uh, my father hates me, my, you know, like there's? They basically are just lies that we tell ourselves, and what she does is she asked readers to think about what their limiting beliefs are and what is it costing you. So what is that lie of I'm not smart enough to apply for that job. It's costing you an opportunity at a job, right? The lie that my finances will never get put together. That's a lie. It's costing you financial freedom because you think that you can't do it. The lie that, oh, I'm not pretty enough to have photos taken of me. You're missing out on creating special memories by having beautiful pictures taken of yourself.

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Now, for me, redefining rejection allowed me to stop living under the shadows of my father's rejection and truly embracing my words. So that was a lie that I was telling myself that, um, you know, my father rejected me. So, like something was wrong with me. I really thought what's wrong with me? That my own father doesn't want to have a relationship with me? It was a lie. And it was a lie that played in my head over and over and over again and really started to make me think what is wrong with me? Is it because I'm too loving? Am I overbearing? Am I you know this, this, this and that Now that rejection that I felt it limited my own self-worth, and Jamie's book gave so many practical tools to help us redefine those like how I was able to redefine it.

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She has this incredible way of combining her story with practical exercises in the book, so it's not just like an inspiring read, but she gives you real action plans for healing and transformation and there's actually 120 page action plan guide that goes along with the book that you can get as a PDF download If you go now. Her book came out in February. I was able to get this action plan because I did like a pre-order of her book. But I believe if you go to her website, there is a way that you can get it. I think you just have to upload your receipt number, like if you order from Amazon, you just get your receipt number and you upload it into her website and then she will email you this 120 page action plan that you can use as you read along to her book. And it was such a great tool as I read through the book because it walked you through a lot of prompts and I will tell you it is completely worth doing the exercises that go with it.

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Now, before I wrap up, I just want to share one last quote from Jamie that I think just really gets to the heart of her message, and she says a lie I had to unlearn was that my weight determined my worth. So she realized that believing in these lies was costing her real experiences of joy. And her question for us is what lies are you believing and what are they costing you? And that goes back to the limiting beliefs. Are you, you know, denying yourself of ever going to the beach and swimming in the ocean because you don't think that your body image is one that should be in bathing suit? Are you denying yourself that joy of breathing in the fresh ocean air, floating out in the ocean, letting the waves kind of take you out? What else are you denying yourself of? Are you denying yourself of an opportunity, of a lifetime for a job that maybe is coming your way, but you doubt that you're capable of fulfilling the task of this job, so you're limiting yourself? Are you denying yourself the ability to start a new business or a new organization or going out and serving people, because you think you're not worthy enough?

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Are you, are you denying yourself a relationship with God because of your past, because of the things that you've done? I know that that is one thing that holds a lot of people back from having a relationship with the Lord, like, oh, lord, you don't know of the sin that I've done, girl, he knows everything and he still loves you and he still thinks that you are worthy, regardless of the sin that you have come with. There is no sin too big, too great, that God does not forgive and that he didn't die on the cross for you for. So don't deny yourself of good things because you feel unworthy. And I just want to leave with this reflection today.

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If you're carrying feelings of unworthiness, just think of the cost. Think of those costs that I said, of what it's costing you, what memories, what relationships and opportunities are just slipping through your fingers because of a belief that you aren't worthy. There's so much out there that you are missing out of because you think that you're not worthy of it. And if that's you, I highly, highly recommend Not only do you get your nose in the Bible and remind yourself who you are and whose you are, but I also want to encourage you to get a copy of Jamie Kern Lima's book worthy and just go on this journey of unlearning and discovering your worth, basically unlearning the things that are stopping you from truly believing that you are worthy. So thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that Jamie's wisdom from her book just resonated with you and let me know your thoughts.

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I hope that you are able to share this. If there was someone that you know could really find value in this episode, please share it with them. Please do, and I really want to know your thoughts. There is a text me button down If you're listening to this on Spotify or on Apple. There's a text me button there. You can text me all about this episode. Let me know your takeaways on it. If you have any thoughts, if you have any prayer requests, you guys can use that text me button also, and I love when prayer requests come in, because it's just special and I really value those and know that every text message that comes in for me to pray for them, I pray for y'all. So make sure that you share this and just remember that no one can take away your worthiness, because God gave that to you. You are his handiwork, you are his masterpiece, created to do good works, and in order for you to go do his good works, you got to go out and you got to chase it, so go, chase joy.